Helou, nyt on vähän vakavempaa asiaa liittyen kiusaamiseen…
Joka vuosi perustetaan uusia isoja kampanjoita kiusaamista vastaan, kuukausittain saamme lukea tai kuulla aiheesta eri ihmisten tekemiä postauksia, viikoittain kouluissa kerrotaan miten toisia kuuluisi kunnioittaa ja päivittäin joku joutuu silti kokemaan sen mistä kaikkialla vauhkotaan. Ihan hiton kulutettu aihe, mutta niin kauan, kun toi edellisen virkkeen viimeinen lause pitää paikkansa, niin jokainen kirjoitus on tärkeä. Tätä aihetta pitää kuluttaa niin, ettei sitä enää ole.
Maailmassa tulee aina olemaan ihmisiä jotka sylkevät kaiken pahan olonsa toisten päälle, haukkuvat ilman syytä ja antavat kaikkensa satuttaakseen, mutta on meidän tehtävä jättää nämä omaan arvoonsa. Usein tuntuu, että he hakevat juuri sitä, että vastapuoli joko murtuu tai provosoituu, jolloin heidän sanoillaan on ollut valtaa ja merkitystä. Paras tapa antaa takaisin on näyttää, ettei kiinnosta, ettei noilla sanoilla ole väliä ja tämä ala-arvoisesti käyttäytyvä ihminen ei ansaitse huomiotasi ja enrgiaasi. Hymyile ja käänny pois. Toivota tälle henkilölle kaikkea hyvää, sillä käytöksestä päätellen hänellä saattaa olla asiat hyvinkin huonosti.
Konffa oli täynnä porukkaa, jotka olivat ympäri Suomea. Ja tuttuja vilahteli ohi, joka viides minuutti. Vuonna 2017 oltiin perinteisesti viettämässä kesämme kohokohtaa ja eteen osui mun ja Emman kaveri, jota jäätiin moikkaamaan. Samassa porukassa istui pari tyttöä, joista toinen oli käynyt mun kanssa samaa koulua. Hänen huuliltaan pystyi lukea, että noi on ämmiä. Kohautettiin hartioittamme ja jatkettiin matkaan. Mikä mahtoi olla motiivi mustamaalata meitä sanoilla, joille ei ollut mitään perusteita? Koitti seuraava päivä ja tämä samainen tyttö ilmaantui ystävineen meidän kanssa samaan porukkaan. Hän tarjosi kaverilleen juotavaa, juotti tätä ja muka vahingossa veti pullon hartian yli niin, että juomasta osa lensi suoraan meidän vaatteillemme. Hetken seistiin paikoillamme, vilkuiltiin toisiamme ja lähdettiin mitään sanomatta paikalta. Tähänkään päivään mennessä ei olla saatu selkoa siihen, mikä ajaa jonkun käyttäytymään tuntematonta kohtaan kyseisellä tavalla.
Me ollaan kaikki ihmisiä. Luultavasti se sama henkilö joka haukkui sua eilen rumaksi, miettii jatkuvasti mitä muut siitä ajattelee. Voi olla, että hän pelkää menettävänsä oman asemansa ja pönkittää sitä painamalla muita alas. Ollaan aina jaksettu ihmetellä, miten joillain on halua arvostella muiden pukeutumista, ulkonäköä tai hirveästi tekemisiäkään. Se kiusaaminen ja arvostelu satuttaa enemmän kuin vastapuolen omat valinnat tekojensa tai pukeutumisensa suhteen.
Me ollaan saatu kommenttia siitä, kuinka käyttämämme kengät ovat rumat eikä hame ole sanojan mieleen. Kiinnostiko kumpikaan kommenteista hirveästi? Eipä oikeastaan. Se oli yksi mielipide tuhansista ja niistäkin kaikista ainoa, jolla on väliä, on sun oma. Tai se kun kuultiin, että meidän seksuaalista suuntautumista on pohdittu porukassa. Vietetään kuulemma niin paljon aikaa yhdessä, että jollekin oli tullut mieleen antaa oma näkemyksensä meidän ystävyyden laadusta. Haittasiko? Ei. Tärkeintä on, että tiedetään itse mitä ollaan ja kenestä tykätään. Sitä paitsi, homous on niin hyväksyttävä asia, että olisi ollut se ja sama vaikka he olisivat miettineet tykätäänkö me ananaksesta pizzassa vai ei. Sellaisia asioita ei voi ihmisten välillä verrata, sillä kaikilla on omat mieltymykset ja mielipiteet. Ja tämä on vain hyvä asia, eihän maailma olisi yhtään mielenkiintoinen, jos ihmiset olisivat toistensa klooneja. Jos nämä ihmiset eivät pidä siitä miten me asiat tehdään, niin ainoa mitä voidaan toivoa on se, että he tekevät ne itse paremmin. Kaikilla on omat lähtökohtansa elämässä, minkä vuoksi ihmiset käyttäytyvät eri tavalla. Luultavasti, jos sua arvostellaan ei se ole siitä kiinni, että tekisit jotain väärin, vaan siitä että teet sen niin paljon paremmin. Kiusaajilla ja toisten arvostelijoilla voi oma elämä olla päälaellaan, minkä takia purkaa suruaan muihin.
Usko itseesi, äläkä anna niiden päästä ihon alle, mutta ennen kaikkea, älä ikinä alennu samalle tasolle. Anna anteeksi, jätä huomioimatta ja jatka sun elämää. Jos ei muuta, niin ole onnellinen, ettei niin ilkeä ja negatiivinen ihminen ole sulle läheinen. Ja muista, että kunhan olet itse tyytyväinen, sulla ei ole mitään hätää siitä mitä muut ovat mieltä.
Sä olet arvokas ja me tykätään susta just tollasena.
-Eija
Hyvin kirjoitettu, Eija 🙂 Asiatekstiä!
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