Kun näin eilen aamulla sosiaalisessa mediassa ensimmäisen me too -statuksen, ensimmäinen reaktioni oli, että kukapa ei? (Kyseessä on siis Jenkeistä levinnyt kampanja, jossa haastetaan kaikkia naisia jotka ovat kokeneet seksuaalista häirintää, jakamaan sanat me too. )
Minä Järkytyin omaa reaktiotani tosi paljon. Siis miten tällainen voi olla niin ”arkinen asia”, että luultavasti jokainen nainen sitä kokee? Juuri sen takia tällaisia kampanjoita tarvitaankin. Niin kauan kuin asiaa hyssytellään, eikä käsitellä, ei asenteet voi muuttua.
Kamalinta tässä on se, että ME koemme usein itse häpeää näistä ja kuvittelemme häirinnän olevan jotenkin meidän syytä. Oli kyseessä sitten fyysinen rajojen ylittäminen tai sanallinen häirintä, etsimme usein vikoja itsestämme. Ehkäpä minulla oli provosoiva asu, ehkä annoin ymmärtää olevani kiinnostunut, ehkä katsoin häntä väärällä tavalla, ehkä ei pitäisi kulkea täällä tähän aikaan…. Niin se ei ole, vaikka kävelisimme kadulla lyhyissä mini shortseissa, tarkoitan todella lyhyissä, niin se ei tarkoita että kukaan saa tulla koskemaan yms.
Seksuaaliseen häirintään on myös vaikea reagoida. Olen kuullut lukuisia tarinoita ihan koulussakin tapahtuneista häirinnöistä ja ahdistelusta sekä ollut itse häirinnän kohteena ja tarinoissa on miltei aina sama lopputulos. Sanallisessa häirinnässä yleisin reaktio tuntuu olevan hämmentynyt nauru. Siis aivan kuin siinä olisi jotain humoristista??
Olen myös järkeillyt tämän ”nuorempana” niin, että kyllähän minä kestän nämä jutut ja joidenkin asioiden voi antaa mennä toisesta korvasta ulos. Ongelma on kuitenkin laajempi. Jos minä tai sinä tai kuka tahansa muu, hyväksyisi tällaisen käytöksen, oikeutamme samalla nämä teot kaikkien muidenkin kohdalla. Luomme sellaista todellisuutta, jossa näihin asioihin ei yksinkertaisesti puututa ja häirintäkokemukset selitetään huumorintajun puutteella tai herkkänahkaisuudella. Se, minkä joku voisi painaa villasella vitsinä, voi jollekin toiselle Jättää traumat loppuiäksi…
#Me too -kampanja on tärkeä, sillä se on tosiaan näyttänyt kuinka laajasta ilmiöstä on kyse, ainakin omassa some-kuplassani. Se on tuntunut toimivan myös jonkinlaisena puhdistavana riittinä monelle. Kun on saanut jakaa kokemuksiaan yhdessä muiden kanssa, on tuntunut ettei ole taistelemassa yksin, vaan rinnalla on suuri joukko sisaria.
Olen itse kokenut häirintää muun muassa entisiltä kavereilta, puolitutuilta ja täysin tuntemattomilta tyypeiltä. Jotkut asiat ovat jääneet kaivelemaan pitkäksikin aikaa, sillä en ole osannut silloin puolustaa itseäni. Itse tekoa enemmän on jäänytkin jopa mietityttämään se. Miksi en sanonut mitään? Minkä takia hyväksyin tällaisen käytöksen?
Joten jos kohtaatte seksuaalista häirintää, uskaltakaa avata suunne. Sanokaa ja tehkää selväksi, ettei tämä ole ok. Se on myös häirikölle palvelus. Tuntuu että monet nimittäin sekoittavat häirinnän flirttiin. Erona on tietysti se, että flirttailussa on kaksi osapuolta ja häirintä on yksipuolista. Niin kauan kun kikattelemme defensseissämme kommenteille, emmekä kerro miltä häirintä oikeasti tuntuu, on vastapuolenkaan vaikea ymmärtää asian vakavuutta. Ja sanottakoon vielä, että olen kuullut tarinoita myös miehiltä, eikä tämä tietenkään ole vain naisten ongelma…
#metoo
-Eija
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