Olen muutaman päivän ajan katsonut tuota ylenpänä olevaa kuvaa. Näytän mielestäni aidosti onnelliselta tuossa kuvassa. Ja sitä silloin olinkin. Moni asia, joita olen salaa toivonut on toteutunut viime aikoina ja sen olen huomannut kun olen lopettanut valittamisen. Olen iloinen, sillä ajatukset kulkee paljon paljon paremmin. Oon myös levännyt viime aikoina kunnolla. Moni asia tuntui kunnon taakalta aiemmin, ja suurin osa niistäkin asioista olivatkin niinsanottua arkielämää. Mulle on välillä jäänyt valvomisesta kamala levy päälle. Epäilisin kuormittavimman asian olevan unenpuute! Musta on aivan ihanaa, että voin ajatella muutakin kuin mitä asioita mulla on vielä tekemättä.
Vähän aikaa sitten mulla tuli vastaan lause: ”Lopeta itsesi ruoskinta! Olet keskeneräinen ja valmistut vähän kerrallaan, et kerralla! ” Mun pitää hokee tota lausetta joka päivä itelleni. Myönnän olevani aina väilillä epätäydellisyyden tavoittelija. Toi lause kuitenkin pitää niin paikkaansa. Oon vasta hiljattain tajunnut, että minä, sinä, me kaikki olemme olemme keskeneräisiä halusit sitä tai et.
Me opimme uusia asioita muista ihmisistä, mutta myös opimme niitä itsestämmekin. Se mitä mieltä olin vaikka tänään, voi olla myöhemmin jotin aivan muuta. Se juuri sitä kehittymistä, jota minä toivoisin ihan joka ikiseltä. Meidän tulisi olla ylpeitä siitä mite me teemme, sillä ihan jokaisella työllä ja taidolla ihan oma merkityksensä ja tarkoituksensa. Oletpa sitten yksinhuoltaja tai professori.
Koko maailmassa kannattaa lopettaa muiden muiden ihmisten miellyttäminen ja tehdä niitä juttuja, joista oikeasti saa kunnon kicksit. Fakta on se, ettet kaikkia voi miellyttää, vaikka sitä kuinka haluaisi. Mä en halua miellyttää muita, haluaisin heidän tykkäävän minusta ainoastaan oman itseni takia, enkä sen että musta tykkätäisiin, kun olisin feikki ja miellyttämällä muita ihmisiä.
Mä rakastan kirjoittaa tänne mun blogiin juuri niistä aiheista ja asioista, jotka ovat erityisen lähellä mun sydäntäni ja joista olen aidosti ja oikeasti kiinnostunut. Muuten se tuntuisikin pakkopullalta.
-Eija
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